the news
Monday, April 16, 2007
-8:52 PM
Irritation.
ARGH.
I'm SICK of this and that and GAH. I'm tired of missing things I don't want to miss, I'm tired of not being able to do my best, I'm tired of being said I don't do my best.
I can do better. But in the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?
That't the feeling I get. What for do I work so hard? Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless!
So many things are slipping away. What's happening?
I don't want to end up like this. I don't wish to drown in lonely blogs and pretend I'm so cool people read my blog.
I want life! I want to be refreshed and move on in life! I don't want to be stagnant and pretend I'm growing faster than other people.
I want to explode and fly away and do what I dream of doing again and again and again.
But then you reach the top and you throw it all the way down and then what?
It's so noisy. But I don't like the quiet either.
I miss my friends but it's almost like I flitter too much, so they can't see me.
Far wide deep gone.
Stress does strange things to people.
I don't want to be like other people. I want to live quietly; I want to be famous and loved.
So many failures so many victories don't mean anything anymore.
I have it all I only have God.
In the end my blood is the most love I've got.
I don't want to think of the future but it's right there.
I know where I am kind of lost in the middle of all my words.
Disappear, gone gone gone.
Gone.
And back some time soon.
Friday, April 06, 2007
-4:38 PM
I've been reading other people's blogs, so I should probably talk about events in my life, too. This is a blog, after all.
So I went out and purchased Hilary Duff's new album today. Mwahahaha. I'm feeling especially egoistic because this is one of the few times I attempted to buy something for myself with no hindrances. Usually I discover the particular item is not sold at the particular place, or the place closed down already, or I get lost. I almost got lost today, not because of Singapore's flawless transport system, but because I got onto the wrong train. Sigh.
My mother safely got through a Lasik operation, so now she's wearing sunglasses everywhere as her eyes are healing. I still feel uncomfortable thinking of a laser shooting straight into your eye. Oh well.
As I said, I've been reading other people's blogs, and it seems to me that the more witty, sacarstic things you post, the more interesting it is.
I appreciate witty, sarcarstic comments. But I don't possess that talent. How distressing. Sometimes I think it would better if I weren't so nice and everything, because then my negative ideals would be so appealing to other people, and I would gain more attention.
I hope you don't believe I really mean that.
I haven't blogged in a long time. I couldn't bring myself to sit here and type and type and type, and I've been extremely busy with SYF, Odyssey of the Mind and such. And I'll be busier still soon.
More and more I'm thinking I'm really nothing special, because there are so many people out there like me (not a lot, but still) who are more talented than me. But if I can't do what I love and can, I don't know what I'm going to do. That's why we have people around us, friends and family, because they pretty much make up who you are, in a way.
Actually I'm quite impressed with myself when I manage to get my thoughts out coherently and accurately in words. Words can never really express thoughts and feelinds clearly, no matter what language, because their just words. It's probably the tone and attitude that brings forth communication.
Wow. I'm very proud of myself for managing to type so much today, in proper English and in such length.
Til next time!
