the news
Saturday, April 12, 2008
-9:03 PM
I posted! YAY!
Ahem yes. I am posting. Why? Because.
I can't be brutally honest on my blog, because who I am is not what I write in my blog. I got bad days, I got good days. I'm not going to let the whole world see my every critical moment.
Instead, let me just write little thoughts.
Things have happened. I'm still growing! It's a great experience, and I'm glad. Every day is a new beginning, and an ending. What will happen tomorrow? What JC do I choose? What subjects will I take? Yadda yadda. We all like thinking about tomorrow.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Sufficient is the day's troubles." Jesus said that. He's right, of course. And this is something I'm learning to learn. To let go and just let it come.
I got bad month cramps yesterday. Sitting alone in the toilet (being sick is the most lonely experience), I thought. In my pain I asked God, why? You take me as I am, with my bad stuff and my little good stuff, so why? And I thought of the woman in the Bible. She had a blood flow for many years, at least seven! How could she have bore through? The pain and suffering must have been unbearable! Why did God let her suffer so bad? Why not just a bit, before healing her?
Tonight I asked God again, in His presence at The Edge. And there was a peace that said, without words, "all her life I brought her towards me. Every second she suffered I love her and I was waiting, waiting every day for her to push through the crowd and believe, just if she had the faith that I might touch her. Do you believe? I was waiting for her to come, every second."
Maybe it doesn't fully answer my question. But the understanding I have now is, it was the only way. And He did it. He let her push through the crowd to get to Him. It didn't matter all her past, just the moment she touched Him and believed.
Today someone dedicated his heart to Jesus Christ. Thank God. I didn't know him well; I just thought he was a bit funny, not serious at all. But thank God, everything was done that he would come.
There is a song that goes
:
"Come to the Father
though your gift is small
Broken hearts broken lives
He will take them all
The power of His love
The power of His blood
Every thing was done so you would come."
